Coping with Grief and Loss
Grief and loss can be very complex. This is because they come in many different forms throughout our lives. The loss of one thing can trigger the memory of previous loss without our being conscious of it.
Grief
Grief comes in many forms.
- Death of a loved one – including pets
- Loss of a job
- Loss of a house and other material objects that are dear to us
- Loss of friendship
- Loss of a marriage/relationship
- Loss of identity
- Loss of a country
- Loss of health
- Loss of physical body part
Most of us throughout our lives experience many of the losses listed. That is why loss can be so complex, because the memory of one loss can compound the experience of a current loss.
Grief, is the passage of time that follows loss. Your experience of grief depends on how you deal with loss. There is absolutely no right or wrong way to grieve. Contrary to popular knowledge, the stages that you go through in grief are not chronological or prescriptive, Everyone’s experience of grief is coloured by their own personal qualities and circumstances.
Even though being alone in your grief is appropriate and even necessary at times isolation in grief can be unbearable. If you find yourself feeling isolated it can be very helpful to reach out to a friend, a therapist or a support group as a way of feeling companioned through this difficult time. Shouldering sorrow and heartache with others can bring a surprising depth and richness to this experience.
Loss
It is indeed a paradox that the death or loss of one thing can give rise to the birth of another. If you allow yourself to sink into the sadness and pain of loss, you may actually be paving way for something very new and unexpected either internally, in yourself or externally in your circumstances. This doesn’t mean that we hope for loss or that loss is pleasant. But if we enter into the experience and depth of loss rather than pretending that everything is ok, the deep grief that we feel takes on a meaningful and multiple facets.
A counsellor or psychotherapist can be very helpful to sit with as you grieve.
Making meaning and finding meaning can only be done when you feel safe and responded to.
In therapy we work with the many facets of grief. We explore old feelings, new feelings, dreams, past present and future. This helps to place your loss into a more meaningful position within the context of your whole life and yourself.
If this sounds like a journey that you would like to embark upon, please contact Laura for a 15 minute free consultation
Laura Wilson is a psychotherapist who works with adults, adolescents and children. Her training is in The Conversational Model with ANZAP, the Australian and New Zealand Association for Psychotherapy that is affiliated with Westmead Hospital’s School of Psychological Medicine. Laura is also a qualified Allied Healthcare Practitioner with a particular focus on mental health, well-being and complementary medicine. She holds a Bachelor of Health Science in which she studied Neurophysiology, Holistic Counselling, Herbal Medicine and Nutrition.