Relationship therapy
A safe space to be heard and
to listen with loving tenderness
People generally come to therapy to save a meaningful relationship that has been difficult and stressful to navigate for several valid reasons and circumstances. Whilst for the main part, people who come to relationship therapy are couples, they certainly don’t have to be. Therapy is also available to parents and children, siblings and any other type of relationship because the issue at the core of any relationship is usually to do with how we are seen, heard and accepted for who we are by others.
It is widely recognised now that our individual relating styles largely, but of course not solely, stem from early formative relationships with caregivers. Even though this might sound like a contradiction, relationships that can withstand disruption and conflict are more likely to grow and flourish, as opposed to relationships that are all rosy during good times but become volatile and irreparable under stress. This latter style of relationship has a tendency to breakdown with conflict because each party gets stuck in their own wounds and when this happens the relationship can struggle to thrive. This is often the reason, but not always, that couples find themselves in therapy. Because once the going gets tough, communication gets stuck!
In relationship therapy, the work that really counts is the hard conversations about what each person in the relationship finds difficult to communicate and why. In this safe space, feelings and thoughts that up until now haven’t had the opportunity to be held and respected, can be given the loving tenderness that they require, so that they can be tolerated and find a place to perch and be nurtured.
Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can be powerfully unifying, where both of you are finally heard and listened to by each other. But it can also get tough, as we are called to face into the cracks and challenges that require love and patience to heal. It can even be the case that couples therapy reveals truths about the relationship that lead to the realisation that a peaceful and respectful separation is a better option than staying together. Whilst this might sound scary, in my experience, the truth sets us free, and parting ways can lead to a new perspective, that whilst at first is confronting and painful, is finally liberating and lifegiving.
In relationship therapy, the work that really counts is the hard conversations about what each person in the relationship finds difficult to communicate and why.